RELATIONAL ENQUIRY

Learning how to safely inhabit sensitivity has been a central part of my journey. For me, what used to be extreme hyper-vigilance around how I was seen, has transformed over time into a trustworthy attunement to what is going on in others.

When I’m sitting with a client (or anyone) it is natural for me to be aware of the relational field: the space we create between us. As we talk I often name what I’m aware of, so that the other person can check in with their own sense of themselves and see what might be illuminated.

This isn’t a one-way process of me ‘reading’ you — I’m sitting with you as a person with my own ego patterns and my own nervous system’s reactions. What enables this work isn’t an absence of these things, but my ease in staying present with them, allowing patterns such as fear, shame, and discomfort to soften or drop away for the other person.

Meeting in this direct way touches the heart of what stands in the way of freedom for most of us: the belief that self-image is necessary for safety.